I always end up telling myself
that I won’t look for you anymore, that I won’t talk or care about you anymore,
that I should think more about myself and less about you. I tell myself the
truth, but I still don’t listen, I can’t blame me either, how can I listen to a
truth that tells me that the best thing that happened to me isn’t real? How can
I believe that all that it was, became nothing? How can I believe that while
I’m here thinking, missing, wanting, longing, hurting, you don’t even care, you
don’t even bother? It’s not easy to accept, to process, to conceive, that the
same person that told you she fell for you but was too scared to give in and
lose, because it was too much in so little time can be the same person that
makes you feel smaller every time you reach out to them, how can that be the
same person as the one that won’t even bother to conclude a conversation with
you? How can that sweet beautiful face that so acted incredibly like she really
cared be the one person that makes you wish you didn’t have feelings for
anything anymore? How can that be the same person that once made you feel like
everything just disappeared when both your lips met, the person that made
everything amazing with a simple smile.
I just can’t stop going back, even if
I try….
