Broken

I always end up telling myself that I won’t look for you anymore, that I won’t talk or care about you anymore, that I should think more about myself and less about you. I tell myself the truth, but I still don’t listen, I can’t blame me either, how can I listen to a truth that tells me that the best thing that happened to me isn’t real? How can I believe that all that it was, became nothing? How can I believe that while I’m here thinking, missing, wanting, longing, hurting, you don’t even care, you don’t even bother? It’s not easy to accept, to process, to conceive, that the same person that told you she fell for you but was too scared to give in and lose, because it was too much in so little time can be the same person that makes you feel smaller every time you reach out to them, how can that be the same person as the one that won’t even bother to conclude a conversation with you? How can that sweet beautiful face that so acted incredibly like she really cared be the one person that makes you wish you didn’t have feelings for anything anymore? How can that be the same person that once made you feel like everything just disappeared when both your lips met, the person that made everything amazing with a simple smile.

I just can’t stop going back, even if I try….